Practical Points—Fellowship

Fellowship, in simple language, is a condition wherein two or more persons are moved by association of religious interest to meet together to speak of the system of faith which is mutually held, and by familiar, loving intercourse to encourage and edify one another while participating in the eating of bread and drinking of wine, which indicates in symbol the "given" body and "shed blood of Jesus Christ" (Luke 22:19-20). A prerequisite to the enjoyment of fellowship in all who partake of these emblems is a union of mind in regard to the first principles of the oracles of God and a confessed willingness to walk in harmony therewith, upon the principle that the faith without the works is dead being alone.

Meeting together upon this basis is eminently desirable. It is an important link in the chain of love that binds men and women together in an indissoluble bond of union of an exalted, heavenly order, "that their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, the Father, and of Christ, in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Fellowship with the Father and with His Son, Jesus Christ, is to be had by "walking in the light" (I John 1), and no mortal son of God can possibly be walking in the light while refraining from the actual eating of bread and drinking of wine in remembrance of the Lord until he comes again to the earth. The mere eating and drinking is not fellowship; but no one can have true fellowship who does not so eat and drink.

This ceremonial was ordained by God in the hands of the mediator of the new covenant, and he has said, "This do in remembrance of me" (Luke 22:19). This commandment of Jesus is obligatory upon all of his disciples in every age since the words were addressed to those who partook of the remains of the Passover with him. The communion of the body of Christ has within its scope and blessing all who are under the sanctifying influence of his petition, "Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also that shall believe on me through their word; that they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me and I in thee, that they also may be one in us" (John 17:20-21).

It is a sacred office to which men are assigned by the gospel; a high calling that must not be interfered with lightly or carelessly. 'No single individual has a right either to stop celebrating the appointed service or to ask another person to do so for any reason whatever. In the absence of Christ there is but one scriptural way to interfere with the arrangement that has been made for keeping him in remembrance without committing sin. The ecclesia alone has been empowered to "bind" and "loose" upon earth (Matt. 18:18) while her Lord is absent, and even she is limited in the exercise of this authority by the law that He has given for her guidance; not in word only, but in letter and in spirit. No brother or company of brethren can by any means follow this law of righteousness in withdrawing the privileges of the household from an offender—be he ever so perverse—in anger and hatred.

Love, patience, meekness and sorrow for the erring one must be resident in the hearts of those who seek to put in operation the beneficent line of procedure marked out for the salvation of him that is overtaken in a fault. Perhaps no rule divinely given more perfectly exemplifies the mercy and love of God towards a wayward child than does this portion of Holy Scripture (Matt. 18:15-17); and certainly none is more likely to maintain a sound condition of fellowship among brethren when faithfully heeded in the evil hour of discord and strife. Here mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

Consider the importance of heeding the first injunction contained in this law for the adjustment of personal difficulties: "If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone." It is ever so much better to "debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, and not discover his secret (fault) to another, lest he that heareth it put thee to shame and thine infamy turn not away," as saith the old Israelitish proverb. But apart from this liability of having someone better versed in the law of the spirit of life offer a merited rebuke for parading another's failings, it is an act of true wisdom to tell the offender of his fault "between thee and him alone," as it assures him at the start of the other's good disposition towards him. He can hardly fail to see that a brother who has his interests so carefully guarded as to keep his weaknesses from the knowledge of others is likely to be a real friend when every cause for complaint has been removed from between them. His heart may at once respond to the loving advances that are so considerately made in the name of Jesus, and he may be easily led to listen to the plea for a better understanding once he is assured that the only object entertained is to win him; and "if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother."

What an encouraging prospect of reviving the fellowship that is threatened when one brother feels that another has trespassed against him. What a reversal of the natural inclinations is effected by the possession of this spiritual adornment that seeks to restore one overtaken in a fault in a pure, unselfish spirit of meekness. Ordinarily "a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Prov. 18:10); but how wonderful is the change when the offended one so gains the victory over the natural man as to make the first effort towards clearing away the fog which interferes with the shining of the Sun of righteousness. Contention cannot find place where the complainant has a ready mind to forgive while earnestly seeking to restore a brother that has erred from the way of right in giving offense to another.

But suppose these loving endeavors fail (there is such a possibility, or a further line of action would not be marked out), then what course shall be followed? "But if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established," is the explicit answer. When it becomes necessary to take this further action it is well to bear in mind that the permission to "take with thee one or two more" is not a command to tell one side of the story to bias the witnesses, and far less is it to be assumed that the text concedes the right to make it generally known that the offender has added to his sin by repelling the first loving advances which have been made for peace. It is not absolutely necessary to select the two best debaters; or two with the most hasty tempers; or two who in times past have shown a little dislike towards the brother; or two who are particularly friendly towards the offended one. Every one of these selections might add fuel to the fire. In the first place it may be noticed that it is not expressly commanded that two shall be taken at all. It is permissible, not incumbent. Perhaps it is as well to keep the trouble in as narrow a circle as possible as the second stage may do what the first failed in accomplishing, and it may be said, "Thou hast gained thy brother."

It can hardly be supposed that our Lord would lose sight of the need of constantly exercising patience and love when he provided for the adjustment of offenses in all their phases. If mercy is to be found in the first personal interview, grace must much more abound when, in the presence of others, a second attempt is made for a reconciliation. With this object in view let a person of known piety and gentleness be selected to help in the adjustment of the difficulty. It is not expressly forbidden in verse 16 that he should be informed in minutest detail of all that has been said and done in the matter up to date, but it will help the brother overtaken in a fault to see the perfect fairness of the case and the impartiality of the witness if the subject is first discussed in his presence.

It might be an advantage if the witness could express genuine surprise to hear that two brethren of so many admirable characteristics and holding in mutual faith so many ennobling and important truths should be found in disagreement over some personal matter. It is certainly fair, therefore, and not out of harmony with the law of the case, not only to try what can be done in the presence of one witness, but also to present the testimony before the witness in open court in the hearing of the defendant, "that every word may be established" in equal fairness to all concerned. Jesus does not say in so many words that the brother is to be again entreated to make amends for his past conduct, or that there shall be a further exercise of the greatest of Christian virtues (I Cor. 13:13) on the occasion of the visit with witnesses; but he does expressly portray the right frame of mind to be in when a brother has committed a trespass against another in verse 33: "Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow-servant, even as I had pity on thee?”

Now it is not necessary to seek to evade the force of this by saying, "Ah! but do you not see that the fellow-servant spoken of desired to be forgiven and that Jesus' reproof was given because forgiveness was refused though asked for?" Forgiveness is not worth much that is only aroused when a confession of wrong-doing is made by another. A good disposition to cultivate is that pardoning spirit that is so abundantly manifested in the work of God among men; for long before man turned from his evil way He was disposed to pardon him for being "foolish and disobedient." "God commendeth his love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. If the Father had waited until man had repented where would "grace" have been? What chance to be pitiful and offender mercy if it can be said, "Pay me that thou owest?"

God is such a splendid example in everything it is well to follow him in this: get the mind and heart in good shape for granting pardon and the offender will be much more likely to "hear thee" when you speak. Let the brother who feels aggrieved show in word and action that he is far more deeply concerned about the safety of the brother that has sinned against the law of Christ than he is of his own injured feelings; and when to this is added the friendly counsel of the brother that has been called in in the interests of both parties a panacea will have been found powerful enough to cure most cases of this kind. Should these efforts for peace be successful and the brother be won over on the side of righteousness again, help him to forget his temporary embarrassment by resolutely and absolutely letting the whole matter drop. No one is under any Divine obligation to go about among the members of the ecclesia to enlighten them as to how many tears or how much humility was wrung out of the brother by the pressure of the Truth brought to bear on his good and honest heart. Children of the right sort will find joy enough in the recovery of the dear one that was for a little while out of the way, without wishing to have full information as to how it was brought about. The quickest way to heal wounded feelings is to stop thinking and talking about them, and in a few months all trace of the matter will be effaced from the memory.

It is a bad case that has to be brought before the ecclesia. Perhaps such cases have arisen in the varied experiences through which the Truth has descended to the present time. Doubtless brethren have been so wicked as to necessitate the unhappy need for the court of last resort as provided for in verse 17. As to that we have little experience from which to judge. Personally the writer has never known a single case where the law of Matthew 18:15-17 has been followed faithfully in all its parts in the spirit in which it is manifestly intended to be used. In every instance the trouble between brethren has been talked over wherever and whenever it was possible to do so to the full proclamation of the sad tidings, and very little was left to "tell unto the ecclesia" when that body convened to "try" the offender.

Reports from all over the Christadelphian world show that the first and second steps are rarely taken with the sole object of gaining the offender. There is not a single recorded case where the whole law has been kept in every jot and tittle. It will not do to half keep the first, and then say the second is unnecessary because the brother is so hard and unyielding; far less will it do to call the ecclesia together to consider and pass on the case before she has had any business to do so. Her Lord has laid down a law for her to follow, and she must obey it if his recognition is desired when he returns. She cannot hear until the proper time comes, and that time is never ripe until the fullest measure, the mercy of the first and second seasons, has been dispensed unsuccessfully. When this has been done it is her privilege and duty as a true mother bearing rule over her children to call them that are at peace among themselves before her, that she may tell them how they ought to behave in the house of God, which is the ecclesia of the living God, the pillar and ground of the Truth.

Hearing now, as she ought not to have heard before, it is for her to say what ought to be done, and if the offender refuses to hear her judgment in the obedience thereof, and willfully rebels against her authority, "let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." This is a most deplorable position for an individual upon whom the name of Jesus has been called to be found in. To be to the other members of the family as a “Gentile" is to be cut off from the enjoyment of further intercourse and fellowship, and to be forced away from things which edify and make meet for the Master's use when the present service ends.

The power to so decide against a man or woman in Christ is only deposited in the keeping of the ecclesia. It brings with it a responsibility of the most momentous kind and should only be exercised when all other means have failed. "It is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into gehenna” (Matt. 5:30) is quite as applicable to the association of believers as it is to any individual disciple of the Lord. No ecclesia need cite Matthew 18 in extenuation of their course in cutting off a member if such proceedings have not been followed with the prime object in view at every stage of converting the sinner from the error of his way, and in saving a soul from death, cover a multitude of sins. To bring the strength of the body upon a member for the sake of humiliating or crushing a person for whom Christ died is in itself a sin of gravest character.

Let everything be done decently and in order always. When this felicitous condition prevails, and brethren learn, sometimes after heart-breaking experience, how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity, the meeting at the table of the Lord is at once pleasurable and profitable. It becomes dear as the fact is realized that it is a duty imposed by Divine wisdom for human benefit. In the assembly of the saints as nowhere else can be found the very highest form of friendship and love unfeigned. It is a comfort to meet with those of like precious faith in this holy communion, even though the heart may often be sad because "to err is human," and men fail to reach the high standard of spiritual excellence exhibited by Christ, the exemplar of Yahweh's perfections. This unpleasant feature of human weakness becomes a subject of wholesome contemplation as the contrast is marked by him who perceives the ideal in Jesus and feels the real in himself.

There is no room for undue exaltation of self where the Lord of glory is lifted up in the affections as he so richly deserves to be; especially at the breaking of bread. This service was never designed for perfect communicants. It was instituted for men as weak as Zebedee's sons, who wanted and asked for something they may not get; for men who could not "watch for an hour," their "flesh" was so "weak;" for one who, boasting of his loyalty to Jesus, finally said, "I do not know the man;" and for those not a whit stronger or better than he of whom it is written, "Then all the disciples forsook him and fled." Yet in spite of all this Jesus is merciful. He bids to the feast of holy memories. He invites in sweetest accent, "Take, eat; this is my body. Drink ye all of it; for this is my blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins."

True brethren will gladly hear his voice and will carefully and constantly observe the requirements entailed by the Saviour's command. Every effort will be put forth; every sacrifice will be made to keep him in loving, living remembrance in the appointed way. In perfect agreement in matters of faith, and being minded to help one another in the midst of many infirmities to attain unto eternal life at last, they have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses them from all sin. Hence the breaking of bread is a necessity while we live and Jesus remains away. We are weak and may offend, or we may be offended because we are not strong. In any case of estrangement from our brother we must be reconciled again, so that we can have sweet communion at our Lord's table. Pending the settlement of our troubles we must continue to break bread; and we must not hinder another from doing so because we may consider him unworthy. Let the ecclesia decide about that in the way that Christ has directed and meanwhile suffer him to do as he thinks best. "He that eateth and drinketh unworthily eateth and drinketh damnation to himself;” and those who are endeavoring to reclaim an evil doer will not come under condemnation for supping with him if they are determined to do their whole duty after the first and second admonitions have failed.

On the other hand, should he approach the altar upon which the memorial emblems are exposed, and in the contemplation of him who did no sin and in whose mouth was found no guile, be convinced of his own short-comings as he remembers that his brother has something against him that he should remove, let him go and "first be reconciled to his brother," and then let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup according to the appointment. There is no need to allow any trouble among true brethren to interfere with even a single breaking of bread. From first day to first day is quite time enough to adjust every difference and to explain all causes for misunderstanding; and it ought to be too short a period in which to allow roots of bitterness to arise. No one should go to the meeting in a mental condition not suited to the object for which the assembly is called. A few minutes on bended knees in humbleness of heart before starting from home will suffice in bringing any son of God acceptably before Him. It is all the fitness He requires, and eminently prepares one for any claim the brethren may afterwards make upon him when he gets to the meeting place.

Jesus bids you "Come, for all things are now ready" (Luke 14:17). You cannot afford to make him "angry" because you stay away. "A piece of ground," "five yoke of oxen," "a wife," were not deemed valid reasons by him for remaining away from the supper. We ought to be sure of our excuses before we offer them to our Master. We cannot get away from our obligations to him with impunity. We must not shirk our duty by staying away from the meeting. "If we absent ourselves we are the losers, as we deprive ourselves of the stimulus supplied by our mutual intercourse, and to that extent we are weakened in running the race that is set before us; and not only so, but our habitually absenting ourselves acts as a hindrance to others, to whom our presence would afford encouragement and comfort, as evidencing a mutual interest on our part in the love and service of Him who has called us to His Kingdom and glory," as one brother has clearly and concisely summed up our associated obligations.

George T. Washburne

The Christadelphian Advocate, May 1894

Reprinted in The Santuary-Keeper. March & April 1987.