"Teen-Agers", Parents, Children

“Teen-Agers”, Parents, Children

Before the Second World War, there was much less distinction made between young people in their teens and those who were older. The "teen-ager" ranges in age from eleven or twelve, sometimes younger, to the age of twenty-five, or more, when his head is finally pushed against the hard wall of life as it really is, and not as it has appeared to him for so many years. These young men and women, generally speaking, are the victims of three combined and powerful forces over which they have no control because they do not realize that these forces are acting upon them.

The first force had its origin during the depression years of the nineteen-thirties. The parents of the teen-agers were at that time children and in their teens. Many of them felt the rigours of the household wherein the father worked two or three days a week, if he was lucky. They may have remembered their older sister helping their mother with the washing she had taken in, in order to supplement the family income. Some may even remember the cardboard in their shoes, covering the holes. Others may remember receiving their daily ration of milk at school, which could not be provided at home.

Even those who were not affected by the depression were well aware of the misfortune of thousands. Naturally, when these children grew up and became parents they would desire that their children enjoy a greater abundance of material blessings than they did. The realization of this desire in many cases has gone too far, resulting in something less than a blessing for the child.

The second force had its origin in the pioneering days of modem child psychology. The commendable doctrine that a child should be provided with an environment conducive to self-expression was carried, in its early stages, to ridiculous limits. The self-centered, irresponsible, inconsiderate, disrespectful generation of vandals which began to be produced shocked many into a compromise with the more time-honoured methods of rearing children. A proper balance, however, in my opinion, has not yet been reached. This period is also of post war origin, the results of which are compounded with the effects of the depression and post-war material abundance.

The third force is a direct result of the war itself, and is a product of a national moral subsidence brought about by a rapidly increasing disbelief in the Bible as a reliable and desirable guide in human relationships. The manifestations of this condition are so far-reaching and so complicated that a proper discussion is not possible in this article. Immorality, violence, lack of integrity even within the family group, intemperance, and general instability are characteristics of this antediluvian psychosis.

The combined result of these three forces has produced a group of young people who have been separated from their elders into a distinct and characteristic class of individuals who, in general, do not recognize who they are, why they are here, nor where they are going. The barriers between this class and mature responsible human beings are being strengthened from both sides, so that it is becoming increasingly more difficult for the teen-ager to cross the widening gap, and take his place in society. This condition, sadly enough, is true, whether we are speaking of the society of the world or of the society of the brethren of Christ.

It is not my intention to hurl accusations at Christadelphian teen-agers, nor at their parents, for I am in this struggle of life myself, and, therefore, am rightly subject to a proper share of criticism. It is, however, my intention to call a few pertinent facts to mind, facts that are inescapable, true facts of life.

There is a growing tendency among some young people to believe that they must first have their fling — enjoy a goodly share of the pleasures that only youth can provide, before settling down to the serious matter of life in the Truth. There are four errors in this line of reasoning.

1. If they feel that the pleasures which they wish to enjoy are in keeping with the acts of a God-fearing manor woman, then nothing "doth hinder" them "to be baptized". The Bible does not preclude the wholesome enjoyment of the blessings of the Lord.

2. If they feel that the pleasures they wish to enjoy are not in keeping with the acts of a God-fearing man or woman, to approach the waters of baptism after having so partaken is to stand unrepentant before the Lord, which is not acceptable to him. "Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft."

3. Their line of reasoning is founded upon a great lack of understanding and knowledge, reflecting a need of concentrated study by themselves, and guidance by their elders.

4. When God placed the sentence of death upon Adam, it was placed upon all mankind: infants, children, teen-agers, and older people; none are excluded. They have no guarantee that the Lord will be merciful enough to tolerate their behaviour until they finally, in their own good time, condescend to serve him.

There is a growing tendency on the part of parents, to shield their children from the bearing of responsibility, not only in the sphere of employment, but in academic education, spiritual education, and personal behaviour; consequently the children do not recognize responsibility.

Students in their twenties are still attending first-principle Sunday School classes, when they should be teaching such classes. Few young people are able to give a reasonable answer to him that asketh concerning the hope that they or their parents claim is within them. Few young people's organizations will bear the responsibility for raising funds for the work of the Truth which they wish to undertake, but rather rely on the eternal fountain of parental philanthropy.

Paradoxically, where parental guidance is needed most, it is not provided. Many young people are not encouraged to seek suitable part-time occupations to fill otherwise idle time. The necessity of a chaperon at certain youth functions is dismissed as a Victorian antiquity. The unwarranted use of the family car and other equipment, representing a potential public hazard, is permitted indiscriminately. Guidance in the realms of literature, public communications media, and standards of grooming and dress, are too often left to world public opinion and its corrupting influence.

Obedience and respect to parents is very often not demanded, lest the parents be thought unduly harsh during these "delicate" formative years. Household discipline, care of clothing and living accommodations, help with the family chores, the culinary education of girls, and many other items, are not demanded, and often neglected, by parents.

It is a good and desirable condition for young people to enjoy the company of one another, and to share in the fellowship and pleasures afforded by virtue of the vigour of youth, in a common interest. But this blessing should not induce an unnatural separation between teen-agers and other people, measured by a marked difference in maturity. Why should teen- agers tolerate a public image that represents them as irresponsible dunderheads? Nevertheless, some parents, and youth itself, tolerate this condition, and even reinforce it.

The Bible makes no such separation between youth and age as we see before us today. While the mission of Christ was to produce a condition wherein "there is neither Jew nor Greek", "bond nor free", "male nor female", we are permitting the driving of an artificial, but effective, wedge between youth and maturity, where in time past no such division existed. Let me illustrate:

If we read carefully the accounts of the life of Jesus, in the four Gospels, it will become evident that Jesus enjoyed what we might consider a fairly normal childhood and youth, for a Jewish boy. He was familiar with the hills and fields around Nazareth. He, no doubt, delighted in the thrice-annual excursions to Jerusalem at feast times, mingling freely with friends and companions. His familiarity with the fishermen on the Sea of Galilee suggests that he may well have been a boyhood companion of those who later became his disciples — sailing on their ships, helping them with their catch, anticipating the next trip down to Jerusalem with all the wonders of the city. But did these joys make him any less of a man? No indeed. At the tender age of twelve years we find him in the temple talking to the doctors of the law, "both hearing them, and asking them questions". Why do we not find our teen-agers in this position? Did Christ claim a monopoly on the knowledge of youth? True, he was the Son of God, which gave him a great advantage. But the knowledge and understanding of the Word of God was acquired by persistent effort; it was not inherited; an effort not only on the part of Jesus, but also of his mother and Joseph.

Samuel was but three years old when his mother presented him to the Lord. Did Samuel enjoy a frivolous youth? I don't think so. Did this great prophet of Israel regret that he had not been a "teen-ager"? I don't suppose his "misfortune" ever occurred to him. Can anyone say that David did not experience a properly balanced childhood and youth? Did he neglect the Lord, or shirk responsibility? His Psalms bear full testimony to a very satisfactory environment. Joseph, Isaac, Daniel, Timothy, Titus, and others, all enjoyed in their youth the romance of life's great adventures, and at the same time shouldered their own share of responsibility in the service of the Lord.